Legal Help-Parental Alienation Syndrome

Getting legal help when dealing with parental alienation syndrome can be a daunting task.  The following article is not meant as legal advice or expert advice.  If you feel you are a victim of parental alienation syndrome, you should seek professional help from a qualified attorney or mental health professional.  This article is merely for informational purposes and discusses some observations that may or may not be true in your case or others.

Judges typically rule conservatively and will work very hard to leave decision making power for the children in the hands of the parents.   It is not the job of the court system to solve the problems of parents.  Even if you feel the evidence of parental alienation is overwhelming, the Judge may try to exhaust every other alternative before making decisions for the children’s welfare.

It is widely believed that if the offending parent is not facing real consequences they will not stop their alienating behavior.  Fears of severe fines, jail time or sole custody are sometimes necessary to motivate the offending parent to change their behavior.

Generally it will take a dramatic situation where court orders are broken for a judge to feel that it is necessary to intervene and rule on a change of custody.

It is important to remember that this is a process that can take years.  It may take years before the alienating parent has broken enough court orders for a Judge to see enough evidence that their behavior will not change without an intervention by the courts.

What to do when dealing with the Offending Parent

Document, document, document.  Court dates take months to secure and after months memories can be fuzzy.  It’s helpful to have a running journal detailing the events that are occurring along with relevant text messages and emails.  You need to remember that the job of your attorney is to put you int he most favorable light.  Angry emails and text messages from you can undermine the ability of your attorney to do this.  Be respectful and courteous work hard to avoid creating tensions at drop off and pickups in your efforts to record every detail.  A Judge will care more that you protect your children from the drama than that you have perfect records.

 What to do when dealing with Alienated Children

This is the hard part.  Most professionals recommend to continue loving them.  Depending on what level of parental alienation (Levels of PAS click here) they are suffering from this can be hard but it’s important to not make the situation worse by attacking the offending parent verbally in front of the alienated child/children.

Your love and support of that child may seem to have little effect on them now, but in the next few years when they are ideally in therapy, recalling the good memories you made with them can be helpful.


Selecting an Attorney for Legal Help with Parental Alienation Syndrome

The most important thing is to have an attorney that believes you.  This may seem silly, but ex-spouses who work hard to alienate their ex can be very convincing.   Having an attorney that doubts your story will not help.

Make sure your attorney has dealt with PAS before.  The attorney should have experts they can call on should they be needed and experience in dealing with the many false allegations that have come (or may come) your way.  Discussing other situations in which the attorney has dealt with PAS may be helpful.

You have to like the attorney.  This may seem silly, but like it or not you’ll probably be seeing them frequently.  It helps that you can relate to your attorney and can easily communicate with them.


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